Review: Varsity Blood / Cert: 15 / Director: Jake Helgren / Screenplay: Jake Helgren / Starring: Lexi Giovagnoli, Wesley Scott, Debbie Rochon, Blair Jackson / Released: 18th August
As fans of disposable teen-filled slashers, we were hoping for something breezy, fun, gory and a tad sinister from Varsity Blood. The film centres on a group of jocks and cheerleaders who are a year removed from a dark accident that took the life of one of their friends. Just in time for the anniversary of this incident, people start to get offed by a masked figure. All sounds promising for throwaway slasher fans, right?
To be blunt, Varsity Blood is an atrocity of a movie. Everything about the film ranges from poor to embarrassing. A paper-thin plot is explored by a cast who seem to struggle with even the simplest of tasks. As well as the bad acting on show, the actual ‘horror’ when it does come is horrendously choreographed, without genuine emotion, and the film seems to spend a lot of its time seemingly ticking off a checklist of bad horror clichés. But the biggest drawback of Varsity Blood is the characters on show. Yes, these are disposable stereotypical slasher fodder-types, but not a single one of them is appealing in any way. These highly unlikeable characters aren’t helped any by dialogue that is obnoxious, grating and that offends on a whole host of levels.
For the full, blunt review of this abomination, head over to Starburst Magazine.